One Rule to Rule Them All

There are a lot of myths in law school: I'd always heard that the east coast was so competitive that students actually ripped pages out of the digests to keep everyone else from getting the cases they needed.* One by one, they've mostly been disproved, but there's still one that has staying power: that the rule against perpetuities is one tough son of a bitch.

I know a guy who graduated from Cardozo, and when he heard that I had property this semester, cryptically said "remember me when you get to the rule against perpetuities." It's only worse now; someone asked our property professor what the reading was for next class, and he told us via e-mail to review everything, but "one thing you MUST NOT do: Don’t venture into the Rule Against Perpetuities yet!" And this is from a guy who's on the board of directors at Human Rights Watch and is an advisor on African affairs. So when he tells us to watch out, you know you're heading into the shit.

I feel like I should go do push-ups or something. The "rule" is as close to Full Metal Jacket as I'll ever get, except that at the beginning of the semester, I thought I saw some similarity between Professor Torts and Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Oh that's right, Private Chadha, don't make any fucking effort to raise your voice to where we all can hear. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?"

I am in a world of shit.

*I can neither confirm nor deny, we don't use "books" to do legal research anymore; it's way too 1994

Auctioneering

There are lots of ways to raise money for a good cause, but after last Thursday night, I can't think of one more effective then an auction.

Brooklyn Law Students for the Public Interest (BLSPI) threw their annual auction last week, and it seems to have been a huge success. Maybe it was their authentic little auctioneer, maybe it was the feeling that comes from helping a good cause, maybe it was just the $5 bottomless beer and the fiscal confidence it bestows, but I'm hooked. BLSPI raised $40,280, and though I can't claim to be responsible for any part of that amount, since I was outbid on every item, it was nice trying. There's an adrenaline rush that comes from bidding $600 for a weekend in someone else's cabin when you know that you only have $70 left in your checking account.

It was shocking to see how much disposable income some of my fellw students had. Nearly $400 for cocktails and dinner with Prof CivPro? Especially when you know the poor old guy would be more than happy to take his students out for free. It's all for a good cause though. I'm addicted to the action, but I'm starting off on a budget.

Loving the Latin

There are dozens of latin phrases that I had some vague idea existed before school started. I had no idea what they meant, but I knew they were floating out there somewhere, and I knew that they were latin.

They all sounded a lot more important than they actually are. Res ipsa loquitor means "the thing speaks for itself," which in turn means that some accidents are so weird that somebody must have screwed up. Nothing like the law to obscure things under procedure and language.

Luckily, two out of the next three cases in conlaw are about sodomy laws (no latin at all). I can already hear how uncomfortable Justice Scalia is. That's how we spice things up here at 250 Joralemon.

Sweet Prizes

It's been a busy week at school for all the people who decided to participate in the trial advocacy competition starting this weekend. Among them are my co-bloggers, OE and LD, and I wish them the best of luck. But it hasn't been all lazy afternoons and post-brief bliss for those of us too self-conscious to play at being a lawyer yet.

For example, I spent the week finally amassing enough points on West Law trivia (sample question: true or false, isn't westlaw just about the greatest thing ever? really, isn't it? your pants aren't warm just because you have a computer in your lap, it's westlaw isn't it!) to buy the prize I've had my eye on since I earned my first reward program point: the Braun Flex XP II Shaving System: "7800 RPM motor, sealed and water resistant. The Clean & Charge system automatically cleans shaver so it always delivers the closest shave." Goodbye, morning razor routine. You won't be missed.

To those who don't think this is a point-effective way to spend my West Law bounty, I'd like to point out that the exchange rate for my shaver is $.015/pt vs $.010/pt for the iPod and $.014/pt for the canon digital camera. It's a great deal, and I'm not going to shave again until it reaches my door in 4-6 weeks.

Good News

Yesterday I wrote the easiest letter to an employer a 1L ever gets to write. No agonizing over tone, spelling or grammar. I was too familiar with receiveing this kind of letter not to know how to say it.

Dear Judge,

Thank you for your recent interest in me. As you know, it's been a very competitive summer job season, and there are more qualified employers than I could ever possibly accept. I assure you it was a difficult decision. However, you are not alone in your disappointment, as I will reject many more judges, firms, and public interest organizations than I am able to allow to employ me. I wish you the best of luck in your future recruiting efforts.

Sincerely, I.A. Chadha

Alright, that's not exactly what you get to say, and it's not even true; I had nobody else to reject, but for the first time in this job search, I felt a little bit in control of the situation.

So this summer I'll be working here. You can't tell from the picture, but the building is currently undergoing renovations, and most judges have relocated across the street. When I was there interviewing, it had an eery locked-in-the-marble-museum-after-closing sort of feel to it, and it was a little quiet for my tastes, but after all the rejection, I would've happily manned the metal detector.

It wasn't even the chambers that I got along best with, and when the clerk offered me the position, I asked if I could have some time to think about it. He hadn't really considered it, but yeah, I could have some time, would I "need more than an hour?" What's the saying? One job in the hand or something? Maybe that's something else... anyway, I took it. No matter how you look at it, it's better than my last job, even without the apron and all of the shame.